I was raised in a very Christian home. Until I was 18 and was allowed to make my own decisions, I could count on one hand the number of times I missed church for reasons other than illness. This was a tremendous blessing which at times also felt like a curse. You see from a very young age I was taught about God, who He was, what He did for me, what I owed Him and what He expected of me. Because of this, when I failed Him (at times those failures were of epic proportions) it was devastating. Many times I thought “What’s the point? I’m just going to fail again and again.” I was the poster boy for Romans 7:19
“I don’t do the good I want to do. Instead I do the evil that I don’t want to”
It took me many years to understand that God loved me anyway. King David and the apostle Peter became my heroes. These men, who were celebrated as men of God, at times failed miserably, just like me. Even though I was taught from an early age that God’s love was unconditional, it took me many years to fully understand this. It is, to this day, something I struggle with daily. One of the greatest blessings I have received is that God has surrounded me with amazing friends and family that I can look to for examples of Godly lives. Make no mistake, I still struggle mightily and fail far too often, but I know my God is a compassionate God and someday he will judge my heart and my deeds.